It is time to revive some old themes for this Green Onion Revival Project. Which includes bringing back the fan-favourite Top 10 Lists.
The prompt is straightforward enough. I take a random topic, throw the best ten down in an easily digestible post. You are entertained, find some nostalgia, and call it a day. Everyone has a great time.v
Let us see where this takes us.
We are going to be exploring some of the best fictional breakfast cereal brands across pop culture.
I was surprised to find how difficult it was to narrow this list down. It turns out that I know just as many fictional cereals as I do real ones. Which makes sense considering how much of a staple food group cereal is.
Some of these would be alright if produced in the real world. But I would likely stick to my Honey Bunches of Oats.
10. Spaceballs the Cereal – Spaceballs
One of the best jokes that Mel Brooks pulled off in his memorable Star Wars parody was attacking the mass-merchandising. The film showcased everything from Yogurt dolls, lunchboxes, and even the film itself was available for purchase within the movie. But you can’t have merchandising without mass-producing cheap sugary cereal and selling it for a jacked-up price.
9. Kelpo – Spongebob Squarepants
Kelpo is the choice brand for Spongebob and all of the citizens of Bikini Bottom. Kelpo may not be as good as Bran Flakes, because bran Flakes have a bold new taste. Regardless, Kelp is a staple food for Spongebob. It is used to make everything including candy bars, shakes, and jerky.
8. Eyeholes – Rick and Morty
In a cartoon with infinite realities there are bound to be some strange brands of cereal. None are more prominent than Eyeholes. The only down part to this breakfast is that you can never have them. For if you have Eyeholes the Eyehole Man will come, and he is the only one that can have Eyeholes. “Get up on outta here with my Eyeholes.”
7. Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs – Calvin and Hobbes
The most lovable part about Calvin and Hobbes is how much Calvin takes advantage of being a child. That includes his very unhealthy choice in breakfast cereals. Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs are as sweet and sugary as you can get with breakfast. Even Calvin’s own subconscious imagination cannot handle the sweetness.
6. Admiral Ackbar Cereal – Robot Chicken
“Your tongues can’t repel flavour of this magnitude”. With colourful marshmallows and imitation crab meat, Admiral Ackbar Cereal is a game-changer. Not only do kids love the flavour, but they will also love the toys inside, like a large bass. I would only be concerned that it’s a trap.
5. Sugar Frosted Milk – Ren and Stimpy
Ren and Stimpy delivered us some fantastic off-brand breakfast choices. Powdered Toast would have topped this list had it been cereal and not just… powdered toast. Regardless, the Sugar Frosted Milk is a good runner-up. I mean it does stay lumpy. “Mmm… smell those lumps.”
4. Calorie Substance – Futurama
Futurama is another show that has delivered some memorable cereals from the future. I am not sure what draws me to Calorie Substance in particular. Maybe it is due to the fact that its mascot is Hypno-Toad. Can’t disobey Hypno-Toad, must have Calorie Substance.
3. Reptar Cereal – Rugrats
If babies know anything, it is breakfast cereal. They will eat it off the floor, from moms’ pocket, or out of the dog’s mouth. Babies don’t give a care where they get their cereal. That is why the biggest brand from the Rugrats deserves such a high spot on this list. Plus, you couldn’t get a better mascot than Reptar. Surprisingly, this is the only fictional breakfast on this list that can be found in real life, aside from number one.
2. Mintberry Crunch – South Park
When Mintberry Crunch joined the superhero team, Coon and Friends, nobody knew how to take him. However, by the end of the trilogy, it was revealed that he was the only one with any real powers. Therefore, Mintberry Crunch cereal has a real superhero mascot with quite the origin story.
1. Krusty-O’s – The Simpsons
There are plenty of Krusty brand cereals to choose from, but Krusty-O’s are probably the most well-known fictional cereal. With surprises like jagged metal o’s and flesh-eating bacteria, this breakfast cereal has made a stamp on The Simpsons. This was another cereal that was made in the real world. But even as a gag I would be hesitant to try them. We all remember what happened to Bart.
What are your favourite fictional breakfast treats?
Do you think you would try any on this list?